My mother was Mary Ann Keenan, and she
passed away on September 29, 2019, having lived 91 years. She married an
Irishman, where "for better or for worse" really does include both
sides of the equation, raised five children, loved to hear about her thirteen
grandchildren and seven great grandchildren, and followed city and national
government closely, scotch in one hand and phone in the other. She was
passionate right up to the day she died. She may not have been easy to live
with some of the time, but she was a woman with a mission all of the time. I'm
going to miss her. Below was my tribute at her memorial gathering, which was a
very joyous affair!
My mother was complicated.
The story goes that when she met my
father she was a wall flower. A very attractive wall flower, but still a wall
flower.
Shy!
Those of you who have only known her
for the last sixty-eight years have no idea what I’m talking about.
I have no idea what I’m talking about.
My mother was complicated.
My youngest brother, Joel, started ballroom
dancing a couple of years ago and I’m told when he shared that with mom, she
said ‘your father was a great dancer’.
So he asked her, ‘Did you ever take
dance lessons?’
‘I didn’t need to. I just followed
your father.’
My mother followed my father?
She may have done that on the dance
floor.
She didn’t do it anywhere else.
My mother was complicated.
She was opinionated, insightful, and
loud. She yelled ... a lot. I can only remember one time seeing her cry. I'm
sure she cried more than once, but I only remember the one time. Back in 1974.
It was at the airport. I was off to Ethiopia and she had taken me to the plane.
She just wanted to say goodbye.
My mother was
complicated...boisterous, colorful.
She swore like a sailor.
Happily.
She also listened.
I’m guessing that’s why people in
White Plains elected her to the common council for twenty-six years running. It
didn’t matter who was in the majority, democrats or republicans, she was always
voted in. And after she retired, I’ve heard she stayed in touch, for the next nineteen years. She cared
about the city. She cared about the nation. I think she read the New York Times
and The Reporter Dispatch from front to back almost every day. Her passion
wasn’t politics so much as it was government. She thought it was important and
she expected it to work well.
My mother was complicated.
I don’t know if mom ever voted for a
republican. They generally believe in limited government. I do know that when I
called her a year or so ago and said, "Mom, I really can't stand
republicans," she replied, earnestly, "Oh no, don't say that
Chris."
She focused on the issues, not the
party.
So she wanted teachers paid a decent
wage, but she was mad as hell to learn that teacher unions were preventing bad
teachers from being fired.
She wanted decent pay for city
workers, but she told me years ago that municipalities were being unfairly
crushed by city pension plans.
She was elated with much of the rest
of the nation when Barack Obama was elected President. But she was furious that
his attorney general couldn't find one senior executive to jail over the
financial meltdown.
My mother was complicated.
Some of you might say she was down
right rude.
You'd have company. All of us kids.
I think we all tuned her out at one
point or another, but time passed and we'd tune her back in. The wisest of us
tuned her back in quickest.
Mom spoke her mind, and didn't worry
too much about your feelings. She had a sharp tongue. I'm sad to say most of us
kids share a bit of that tongue. Debbie may be sadder than I am.
My mother was complicated.
Mom's sharp tongue had the
companionship of a generous heart. She took in our cousin when her aunt
couldn't manage him. I think I was eleven. That made Joel three with three more
children in between us. Dad worked late every night, so by herself she added a
troubled teenager to her flock.
This from a woman who did not
love mothering.
She did not wake in the morning,
pining to bake apple pies to feed all the mouths.
She was not kidding when she once
explained that she got into politics because she had five kids home with the
mumps and needed to get out of the house. Mom and politics were a match made in
heaven.
Mom showed her true grit before
running for any election by seeing the five of us and a few others out of the
house. With that accomplished Mom married city government, and that was a match
she could truly enjoy.
Don't get me wrong. Mom loved to hear
about us and our kids, and she traveled to many a recital or performance. But
the city was the real winner for her attention and love.
My mother was not soo
complicated.
She was simply principled.
And straight.
Not much bending. It was not difficult
to determine where she stood.
She had her blind spots. Some big
gaping holes left by personal bad experience.
So she favored rabbis over priests,
teachers over lawyers, nurses over doctors, almost any ethnicity at all over
the Irish.
But even if you were a priest or a
lawyer or a doctor or, god forbid, Irish, if you knew her well, my bet is you
enjoyed the ride.
